Remembering Innocence

Today I looked into the face of innocence; newly born, the son of my son lay small and unaware of the love that danced in the air between us.  He came from his mother’s breast into my arms, and he lay in the aftermath of absolute bliss. I was the fortunate recipient of his recent bonding. I could happily pretend I was included in the bond. If he was complete, then I was complete, until I relinquished him to his parents and left the room.

Out in my car, removed from the happy scene, I felt my aloneness  gather itself familiarly around me. My joy in the new child did linger, yet I was free of the brief illusion, knowing myself to be peripheral, as I was in so many other settings.  I can enter a scene of togetherness, and for moments believe in my own belonging — my oneness with those so at home in the scene. Then I depart to return to my solitary state of union. I awaken again and again to the truth. I am only truly at home with myself, or perhaps I should say my Self. There is a mysterious sense of oneness when I enter the realm of creativity.  For when I surrender self-consciousness  to the process of creating, I find myself gazing into my own forgotten innocence, bonding yet again with my newly born self.

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4 Responses to “Remembering Innocence”

  1. Kendall Says:

    OH wonderful, Leif! Congratulations to the new person and to the grandmother and to the world, that there is a new spirit in it. I, too, feel, “when I surrender self-consciousness to the process of creating,” I am alive again. When I am blocked or stuck or silent, I am just like a piece of soggy wood. Here’s to new life, to creation, and to grandmothers who aren’t finished.

  2. Christopher Says:

    Leif, glad to get this wonderful news, and your reflections.

  3. leiflife Says:

    Thank you, dear buddy, for celebrating with me. It is a joyful time, as well
    as a revelatory time. Little Bryce is a beautiful, new creation, most definitely a gift to all of us. Thank you for receiving my words and for understanding.

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