Returning

Having been granted an unasked for sabbatical from blogging, I return with some trepidation. My computer is clean, renewed by its week of rest and compassionate attention, while my own week has been fraught with energy scattering occupations. I feel tired and depleted, missing the part of myself that I need to survive.  As my darling friend, Kendall, says: I need to check in with my self . This I do by listening deeply and writing bravely. The blog is my present means of “checking in”. Lacking this, I tried to look at my deprivation as an opportunity of returning to drawing, dancing, even painting. Yet motivation was lacking, my heart in shy mode,  and discipline, these days, feels too much like punishment. 

Truly, my grandmother side has been more in demand than usual. This is lovely, but can be exhausting to my older self, and in between, I tend to walk dogs, read somebody else’s words, or watch a movie. Sleep is good, too.

So what about play? And what about nourishing talks with a friend who is more understanding than judgemental? I think I may have forgotten how to play, but, yes, an occasional talk with a friend can bring me back from the land of lost souls, can revive my eagerness for familiar leif life.  And this I am thankful for: sweet friends amd reminderers.

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