Shall We “Grow”?

I am weary of overmuch self-examination, and this blog appears to have gravitated in this direction.  Perhaps it is too much like journaling: a place to explore the mood of the day.  I have done so much of this, and it tends to be circular. One keeps meeting the same old stuff, and if there is progress, it is very subtle. In the writing of a novel, there is more of a sense of progress and achievement. One may not know where the story will go, but the story is moving along, and the characters take one out of oneself. Their behaviour surprises, even revealing untapped parts of the writer’s own character.

I need surprises, and so far the blog doesn’t really do this for me. It has been a venue for honest expression of my ongoing bugaboos, and I have asked questions that needed to be asked. But what of answers? What of feasible changes that may bring improvements, and most certainly will bring fresh new questions  that could expand my horizon. Art challenges. Is there any challenge evident in my present occupation? Well, perhaps just seeing the extent of my introspection – seeing this particular truth about myself – is causing me to consider whether this woman artist is evolving. She may be seeking balance in her life, but is she practicing balance? Is her introspection balanced by external expression? Is her solitude relieved by social interraction (and I don’t mean spending time with children, grandchildren, and other family members)? I would have to say no – decidedly no. She seeks in her head while her  frustrated heart says: Let me out of here.

In the making of art, there is momentary relief. There is even the promise of something beyond the immediate creation. A path may be revealed. But if one doesn’t heed the revelation and embark, what use is art. Aways, in the dance, one gesture leads into the next.  So, dear self, go ahead and dance.

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2 Responses to “Shall We “Grow”?”

  1. Brian Simonetti Says:

    Maybe you just answered your question of frustration – that you are in a circle, and it took a few entries to see that. Work. Work without a plan, a goal, an end. Just work – with your hands. Silence your mind. Go the other way that the circle, the spiral would have you go. Mark Twain once said that history doesn’t repeat itself, but it sure does tend to rhyme. Along the circumlocution of the spiral we see ourselves and are fooled into thinking we have gone full-circle. We haven’t. So just turn off the voice within your mind and go the other way: you may see yourself, but the other self will be surprised one – and you can enjoy the laugh, the absurdity; and live…. Love, Brian.

  2. leiflife Says:

    How kind you are to stay with the dance, and how wise to realize the turning point and affirm my ability to leap beyond the mental circumlocution and free the next gesture. Thank you for honesty,love, and friendship. Love, Leif…

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