Rest and Resolution

This morning I am in the grip of a familiar dynamic. Exhaustion drags me down as a restless element urges to action. It’s the height of discomfort, never handled with ease. It usually means I have gone to long without a reprieve from familiar demands. It is time to get away, if only for a day or two. I may realize this, but the state of weariness and fragility causes confusion and reluctance to act. Today I am hoping that I can surmount my usual tendency to delay. Even writing this blog may be assisting my procrastination. Yet it gives me a chance to connect with my deeper understanding, which can soothe the nerves and eventually strengthen resolve.

It is Wednesdy. In less than three hours I am due at my son’s house to sit with little Bryce. It is usually a peaceful time until his father and sister arrive. Then even as love and delight are aroused, my whole body braces itself for at least three hours of nonstop activity. On this particular day I must call on reserves that may not exist. I am feeling rung out before it begins.

The question is: If I can summon the elusive resolve to meet my present necessity, make a few phone calls that will lead to future rest, will I find myself better prepared for the afternoon? Will the promise alone bring relief to thin-stretched nerves and a weary, acheing body? Will a smile replace the urge to weep?

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2 Responses to “Rest and Resolution”

  1. Kendall Says:

    Please let us know how it turns out. I am, as always, with you in the questions.

  2. leiflife Says:

    Thank you, dear Kendall, for being with me, regardless of how things turn out. Just feeling supported in ones explorations means more than I can say.

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