SEEING WISELY

Sunny's World (794x1024) (3)            Three days ago, I had the first cataract removed from my sixty-eight-year-old eyes. I am halfway through the process…midway between a shadowed world and a clear bright vista. Already it feels like a miracle: My right eye opens on a world washed clean, a landscape promising increased potential. Yes, I can see, even as the eye is tender, almost tentative in its looking. The pupil is not yet adjusted since surgery; in the mirror I see a tiny dot of a pupil swimming in a sea-green iris. It doesn’t yet do its job of adjusting to light and dark. A curtain seems to obscure the clarity along one side. Even so, I see as I have not done in years. I may be tempted to act as though the process is complete, while the other eye still waits its turn.

Alone in my house, I am following the doctor’s instructions: no bending over or lifting of heavy things, three drops of medicine in the operated eye three times a day, no water in the eye, sleep with a shield protecting the still-mending eye, no driving until the anesthesia wears off, and start preparing the left eye with drops three days before the second surgery. Aside from the doctor’s cautionary voice, my own instinct tells me to take care, to respect this miraculous process. It is no small thing.

My sister and cousin have invited me to go tomorrow for breakfast and to see the orchid exhibit at the mall. As much as I might want to see and photograph the orchids, I know that malls are noisy places lit by unnatural lighting. And I know that I would subdue my own needs in the face of the others’ pleasure. My need for quiet at this time is great, as is my need for moderation in all things. I need to trust the same intuition that led me to take the little dogs to doggy camp. I knew I would not be able to keep up with their lovely energy, their expectations or demands. Obeying the subtle flow of my inner direction would be impossible. Whereas, the old cat curling beside me now inhabits the land of feline surrender. His soft warm fur breathes out contentment. Wanting nothing, he stays where he is. I, too, have surrendered; I will stay where I am.

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7 Responses to “SEEING WISELY”

  1. Kendall Says:

    Wonderful idea to just surrender, stay where you are, ruffle that cat fur, and be quiet. You are my guide, as always.

  2. leiflife Says:

    The writing of this helped me to know what I knew. Thanks for affirming that knowing. As for guidance, I think we take turns. Always…

  3. Kendall Says:

    And another thing. That is a splendid portrait of Sunny.

  4. Matthew Says:

    It’s the first time I’ve seen your blog- super! Today is Imbolc, a time to celebrate growing light in the world in the pagan traditions, and the return of spring. My wife is running an Imbolc ceremony tonight. In the Christian tradition it was renamed as Candlemas.
    I see your eye growing strong and clear in my minds eye. I wish you a good recovery.

    • leiflife Says:

      Thank you, dear Matthew… Growing light in the world… How appropriate… I will think of your ceremony tonight – participate quietly where I am. Had the second eye done on Wednesday, and already the world is a brighter place. But maybe it is much more than my regained vision. Imbolc… Love to you and yours.

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